nate...part 2

Thank you to everyone for the positive feedback on Nate...Part 1! If you are just now joining us on this journey, you may want to go back and read.

Some of my memories are a little fuzzy, but I'll do my best to stay as true to the story as possible.

Soon after Nate's delivery, my nurse wheeled my down to the NICU to see him. Little did I know how familiar this place would become. It was so intimidating to see all the machines and tubes and wires. Even the sounds were intimidating. My dad joked that it sounded like slot machines in Vegas. (I wouldn't know...never been!)

Nate was on a ventilator to help him breathe. They put tubes into his umbilical stump to provide nutrients. He was stable and we could touch him and pat him, but he wasn't stable enough to be held. That was tough!

The doctors took him off the ventilator and put him on C-Pap, which provides oxygen, along with some pressure. Later they took him off C-Pap and he was just on oxygen through a nasal canula.

Nate, 2 days old, on a nasal canula for oxygen.

Later that day, back on C-Pap.

It seemed like we took one step forward and two steps back. Jeremy and I thought that he just needed some time and then would be ok.

He slept all the time. He didn't even open his eyes for the first two weeks. He was pretty pitiful.

The doctors were trying to figure out what was wrong with Nate. They did numerous test for genetic disorders and metabolic disorders. He had a spinal tap. An MRI. Ultrasounds. EEGs. And everything came back normal. Such a praise, but the doctors were puzzled.

One week old, back on the ventilator.

I didn't go back to work for the rest of the school year. I was working on my master's degree and my professors allowed me to finish when I could. They were so understanding. Jeremy was working and going to school at the time and was at the hospital as much as possible.

I got into a routine. I would take the girls to school and head over to the hospital. Jeremy would stop by between work and school. My mom and dad would come up about every day. We'd usually drive back home (about 30 minutes) for dinner and then go back after shift change for a couple more hours. The girls weren't even allowed to visit Nate because of the risk of infections. No children in the NICU during flu season.

During all this time, I was pumping breastmilk for Nate and had a huge stockpile! I felt like that was the one thing I could do for my baby.

We had a great support system. My family was great to help out with the girls and keep me company at the hospital. Our Sunday School class provided meals and money. Jeremy's parents were still living in California at the time. We called them frequently with updates and they came out for a visit around Easter. And we had countless prayer warriors.

Two weeks old.

We were so excited when Nate could start wearing his own clothes!!

Nate on his first Easter. At the time, he was in an oxygen tent, but we used the mask when we held him. He was fed breastmilk through an NG tube.

At 4 and a half weeks Nate was still having trouble breathing on his own. He required oxygen and would have frequent desats (when his oxygen levels would drop). He couldn't suck or swallow and didn't have a gag reflex. His muscle tone was poor and he had muscle tremors.
The doctors were stumped. Finally the decision was made that Nate would be transported to Children's Mercy Hospital in Kansas City.

Nate...Part 1

It seems like most of my blogging has been about my girls. Mostly because the older girls are the ones who are involved in activities and Delaney is at a fun age and fun to photograph. And when it comes to Nate, no news is definitely good news. But I feel like I need to devote some blogging time to our special little guy.

Some of you are already familiar with this story. You were with us during the entire journey. Some of you may be familiar with the story. And some of you may be learning about Nate for the first time.

I've called this first post "Part 1," but I don't know how many parts I'll have. I'm just going to start and see where this leads me.

Pregancy

After Jeremy and I were married a little over a year, we decided it was time to expand our family. I already had Bri and Alli from my first marriage and I was a little nervous about starting over with another baby. After all, they were potty trained, slept through the night and were in school all day. And since they were so close in age, their early years weren't always the easiest for me. But I was ready to go for it and we were thrilled when I got pregnant!

I had a sonogram around 20 weeks and we found out we were having a boy. Everything looked fine and my pregnancy progressed normally. He was a kicker and I often joked around about how he would probably have ADHD and that's why he was so active.

This picture was taken about 2 months before my due date. I was due on May 1.

All during our spring break I did major nesting. I still had lots of energy and went and bought some new maternity clothes to get me through those last few weeks. During that last weekend, we had a crusade at church with Ken Freeman. He has a great message, by the way.

I went to bed that Sunday night and woke up suddenly in the middle of the night, realizing I hadn't felt the baby kick in over 24 hours. I distinctly remember having trouble falling asleep on Saturday for all the kicking and then couldn't remember feeling any movement since then. I was sure it was nothing and didn't want to bother Jeremy, but I got out of bed and went downstairs to the family room. I got my little Bebe Sounds monitor and tried to listen for a heartbeat. But that thing was always a piece of crap a little finicky and I couldn't hear anything. I remember pushing on my stomach trying to force him to move, said a prayer and went back to bed.

The rest of the night I kept trying to get some movement, but had no luck. When morning finally arrived, I calmly told Jeremy that I was a little concerned and was going to call the doctor's office when they opened. Looking back, I realize I should've gone straight to the hospital, but I'm not an alarmist and usually remain pretty calm in these situations.

I went to work as usual and called the doctor's office when they opened. I talked to the nurse, who advised me to go home, eat something and come into the office for a non-stress test. I called Jeremy and asked him to meet me there. I was now getting nervous and was afraid of the results we would find. I remember praying on the way over. Pleading with God to not let my baby die. I promised Him we could handle anything, just not to let our baby die.

Once we got to the doctor's office, they took me back to a room and put a fetal monitor on my belly. I was so relieved, and a little embarrassed that I must have overreacted, when we heard his heartbeat. They monitored me for about 30 minutes and then the doctor came in and explained that I needed to go straight to the hospital. Even though there was a heartbeat, there wasn't any heart rate fluctuations from fetal movement and the heart rate was very high...over 180. She said they would give me some IV fluids and see if that helped.

So off we went to the hospital. As I was getting IV fluids and a Biophysical Profile (like a sonogram), my mom was at a doctor's appointment with my grandparents. My grandpa had been diagnosed with Hodgkins earlier in the year and had been through chemo and radiation. At his appointment that day he learned that he was officially cancer free (Praise God!!)

The baby failed the Biophysical Profile. During this sonogram, they check for heart rate, breathing, amniotic fluid, muscle tone and movement of the baby. You get one point for each area that you pass. I think he got a 1 (for amniotic fluid). It was time to have the baby. I was only 35 weeks but he would be better off outside the womb where doctors could intervene. My labor was induced and I had a regular delivery just after midnight. When Nate was born, he didn't cry and he was a horrid grayish color. The neonatologist was in the delivery room and resuscitated him. He was intubated and whisked off to the NICU immediately.

Nathaniel David

March 25, 2003

This is the first picture taken of Nate, on his birth day. At 5 pounds, 13 ounces, he was probably the biggest baby in the NICU!!